Letting Go is one of the toughest life experiences we all face.
Whether it’s letting go of a relationship, how someone once made us feel – negative or positive, a once in a lifetime experience, or even a platter of delicious vegan cookies.
Letting go means having to formerly bring something to an ‘End’, and for most people, that means a feeling of loss is to follow.
But, as Joseph Campbell said,
“We must be willing to LET GO of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
That willingness to let go, and ultimately trust life that you are exactly where you are meant to be at any given moment in your beautiful, miraculous, one-of-a-kind journey can let you off the hook to live the best and happiest life ever! No pressure.
Letting go isn’t always easy. I totally get that, but it is a necessary part of life to keep you moving forward, growing, evolving, transcending into the role you are ultimately meant to play in your life story.
Part of the reason it is such a difficult task is because we are taught to take ownership of things, material goods, possessions. Yet we are never taught how to move on without them. We tend to outgrow the material goods, and sometimes the same goes for people. I’m starting to see that really, there is no difference between the two. We take ownership of people by labeling the role they play in our lives and setting a very high and unachievable expectation for them to super-exceed, which pretty much means setting them up for failure in your eyes, and setting yourself up for much discomfort, unecessary stress, and drama.
What if we just met people as people – no label of who they are or what they mean to us, and meet them with high standards, but low or no expectations? Not only that, what if we also met people with complete openness; not needing to control or change them, simply accept them just as they are and if they don’t fit the life and style you’d like to live, to be willing to let them go – fully, without first trying to change them or blame them for not being who you want them to be.
This is no fairytale people. This here – what I’m talkin’ about is real life. It’s totally possible to live in such a way that you can meet someone, put your heart into a shared experience, and if changes occur that have you growing further apart than together, to mindfully and respectfully be willing to ‘Let Go’ of the once shared experience without fear, blame, resentment, anger, fill in the blank. Simply, letting go so that each of you now can continue to live the life you are meant to live. Whether that means together or apart.
This is real life… My life.
The relationship I’ve most publicaly been in for the last few years is coming to a most respectful close. Had this been me in the past; the person who found herself so incredibly attached to every person, place, and thing would be totally upset, crying, filled with hate, scared that no one else would ever want to date me, insecure about the new people that will be dating my now ex, etc. Just thinking about how I used to live makes me uncomfortable, and trurthfully life doesn’t have to be that way.
Detach yourself as often as you can from the people in your life and how they should behave in your life, and you will quickly see that you can just let people be whoever they are meant to be, without needing to change or control them. Simply letting them be, just as much as you need to ‘be’ as well. And whenever you catch yourself caught up in extreme emotions, ask yourself if you’re living in the past or jumping ahead to the future… Usually those are the two places discomfort lies. Remaining present in your waking life can keep you sane in one of life’s most difficult experiences, but that is a choice you must be willing to learn and make.
Let Live. Let Love. Let Go.
Lisa Grows, CHHC, RP II